I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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