Im at strip club and am horny
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
