your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
