just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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