With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
