Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
