Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
