I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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