Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Holy sore nipples Batman
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I need to align my fucking chakras
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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