THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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