I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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