Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
