Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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