Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
