Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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