I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
