I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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