Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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