I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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