Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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