Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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