well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
