I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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