I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
