A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
