We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
These tits shall not be calmed
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
