happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
