if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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