Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
