all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
