If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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