u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
