He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
