I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
