i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
it's not cheating when I paid for it
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
