Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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