hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
