Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize