i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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