Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It was a blind-side dick pic.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
