i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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