You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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