I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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