Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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