I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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