I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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