I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
