Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
