my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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