so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
