Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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